troublebreathing ♥

 I KEEP WALKING ON

I can't change
The person inside me
I can't change
The person you see
I can't change
The feelings i feel
I can't change
The feelings you steal

The sun, it blinds me
The fire, it burns me
The cold, it frightens me
The streets, they pain me
The people, they stress me
This life, it gets me
This love, it taunts me
It's you that kills me

But i keep walking on
On broken glass
I keep walking on
A scorched pass
I keep walking on
In pits of blood
I keep walking on
In pits of mudd
I keep walking on

And if my heart breaks
I keep walking on
And if my soul aches
I keep walking on
With all my mistakes
I keep walking on
And for all their sakes
I keep walking on...

November 2009

to be continued

I COULD FIND YOU

My life has been turned
And I'm falling fast
A rope to catch but I slipped
Streetlights are flickering

I wish you were here to guide me
So you could shine a light
But I lost, I lost you
And my life falls away
falls away with you

It's driving me insane
This cage they call life
Because I lost my light and I
Step through the darkness

I wish you were here to guide me
I had my chance and blew it
So I lost, I lost you
And my mind falls away
falls away with you

I lived my life without regrets
But these lines scar my face
And I fell from grace

Because I made my wrongs
But I didn't make them right

You have to believe me
There's more to me than this
People make mistakes
And I'm only human
But with a little time, a little time
I could find my light
I could find my life
I could find... you
I could find your hand
I could find you
I could find my heart
I could find you
I could find my dreams
I could find the feeling
I could find myself again
I could find you
I could find you
I could find you
I could...

November 2009

IT'S YOU THAT REMAINS

There are things
I cannot share
I'm on strings
A broken stare

There are things
You cannot see
I'm on strings
Just set me free

There are things
You cannot hear
I'm on strings
I shed a tear

There are things
You oughta know
I'm on strings
Just let me show

If you could free me
Of these chains
Then I could see
It's you that remains

September 2009

IN MY MASTER I TRUST

I can't satisfy me now
Too much imperfection
If you could just show me how
This dirty reflection

This blissful love that I ignore
This lovely pain that I explore
Every ache, it makes me soar
Stripped down to my naked core

A tiny thousand deaths, they break me
A love that I can't save, it pains me
And every thrust there's only lust
It's still my master that I trust

These blood-red sheets
Embracing shape
A scent that leads
Deciding fate

This blissful love that is so coy
This lovely pain that I enjoy
Every ache makes me your toy
There's no hope you can't destroy

A tiny thousand deaths, they break me
A love that I can't save, it pains me
And every thrust there's only lust
It's still my master that I trust
Ashamed in pleasure, I lay in dust
'Cause in my master I still trust

a disgusting lover
I can't appease
A deceitful brother
Who loves to tease
A pathetic sucker
A chance you seize
A nasty habit
I can't release

To the world, I live in disgust
It doesn't matter, it's my master that I trust

September 2009

inspired by my poem "Where the wild things are"

ASK WHY

All the same
A game of shame
claim and blame
no spark in my soul
left to inflame
a picture of darkness
in a hollow frame
memories
kept in a freeze
a dark abyss
I left to seize and

I ask why?
but you don't reply
I should hate you and ignore
all the feelings I shouldn't feel
anymore, anymore

with lingering faith
I crash into you
you keep me wrapped
like chains and ties
a haunting shape
with nothing to do
a taunting voice
that bleeds and cries
memories
kept in a freeze
a dark abyss
you left to seize and

I ask why?
but you don't reply
I should hate you and ignore
feelings I shouldn't feel
anymore, anymore
and my throat begins to dry
and you complain and deny

a disgusting suggestion
that implies
a horrible pretention
in a sweet disguise
I ask myself,
How you still get me that way
from black and white
to shades of grey
from in-full blossom
to decay
I wish I knew

I ask why?
but you don't reply
I should hate you and ignore
feelings I shouldn't feel
anymore
after all this time, you
never told me why
and this is it,
this was my last try
with a restless heart
i'll have to die

September 2009

THE EMPTY ROOM

Words are found
Stirring sound
Glances shout
Silent doubt
Just a shell
Stinking smell
Just a stray
In decay

I'm bound and strapped
In this cheap costume
And still I'm trapped
In this empty room
Camera's beckoning
Claps are deafening
Yet still I'm trapped
In this empty room

Lovers, actors
Same defectors
Haven't I been here
once before?
Imitators
Many factors
Now I'm screaming
sick and sore

I'm bound and strapped
In this cheap costume
And still I'm trapped
In this empty room
Stage is calling
So appalling
Still I'm trapped
In this empty room

September 2009

I WILL REMEMBER YOU

It seems like every step I take to you
Is taking me more far away
You're slipping slowly through my hands
And there's nothing I can do but stare

When times are past and fall goes to spring
I don't know what winter's going to bring
Will you be there? Will we stand strong?
I don't know, I don't know

In accidents two parts collide
And now I think we two divide
And as I see the time run by
It seems our flower is bound to die

December 2008

LAMENT

I'd try to lie down and I'd try to sleep
But nightmares keep troubling me
Feels like wind, but my senses aren't strong;
The cage I'm in is small, the nights in here are long
If I could wash shame from my face
It would be much easier to deal with such grace
There is no chance in fighting the dark
Even the moon doesn't raise a spark

I enjoy the suffer and I enjoy the pain
I love the way they love to blame
They'll never see that black isn't white;
That wrong isn't right
They've never heard that barking beasts don't bite
They'll never know the feeling of the contrite

December 2008

THE SERPENT AND THE FRUIT

In the beginning, there was heaven and earth
the highest there was humanity’s birth
before the woman there was the man
that’s how everyone‘s story began

 but, behold, there are different versions to all
that the first woman felt the man not to be the summit
but to be in god’s eyes just as tall
but, oh, she was wrong, under him she was to belong
and without a thought, Lilith fled paradise in distraught

 for the first time, Adam was alone, a feeling so unknown
God made it right, took of him a bone, created his Eve
A bud, not there to deceive, all too naive

 The world moved on, with the mother of demons watching in
Jealous and proud, embracing god’s first sin
It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair,
why wouldn’t God even care?
She began to think, there was enough time to do
The love once for her, for them to outgrew

 Lilith marched into hell, as if God never had love
But strolling in the pit instead in the garden above
She was special, she knew as Lucifer did by first sight
Taken by her beauty and her ways, so godgiven
Together they would make their enemies outdriven

 The Lightbringer, he once was, into the oasis he’d slide
His former beauty he could barely hide
Underneath the guise of the serpent, not hard to miss
Offering Eve the apple, red and succulent,
promising her, one bite full of bliss
a promise of ascent, she could not withstand

 when the fruit gave her pleasure with it’s taste
the woman shared with her lover, no time to waste
although he knew it to be forbidden, he could not resist
with one bite in his mind there was no doubt to exist

 How could they know that they had changed,
from the father they loved they were estranged
the gates of paradise forever closed to their eyes
naked and ashamed, crying to the skies
how could they find their way without a guiding hand?
Lost and astray, like the drowning searching for land
Bittersweet memories of their life, gone like quicksand
Because no one banned from paradise could understand

 And what happened to the first, full of anger and pride?
She was dragged down into hell, screaming and defied

June 2009

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

"Succumb to me and do as I say"
Over and over, I start to decay
Under your hands I suffer more
Than ever and it's YOU I adore
In the heat of the night I still soar
Stripped down to my naked core
In the prison of my own frontiers
And again, I sweat blood and tears
One more lick and one more sip
Make the fluids start to drip
Moan, groan, YES!
Once more with lust
No matter what you do
In my master I trust

May 2009

 

28.11.09 01:12
 


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